In a funk!

I don't know what it is, but I am in a bad funk. I have been down for several days now. I blogged a little bit yesterday about my heavy heart hoping that would release some of what I am feeling, but nothing seems better.

Then I came home today to find our newly acquired dog (she was a rescue from my school several months ago) had died. It was so devastating. I don't know what could have happened. She seemed so perfect and happy all last night and this morning before we put her out. I feel like there is death all around me. I don't know if I am just more sensitive to it or what. I had taken the kids to town directly from the bus so they wouldn't have to see her until Preston could properly bury her. As I was driving home, I came to realize that I haven't fully surrendered all of my burdens to God. ONE (of many) of my biggest faults as a christian is the need to be in control. I know this is evil trying to get in. I pray about it constantly. I just have such a hard time letting go. I think my funk is mostly due to me harboring all of these feelings and not releasing them completely to God. So now I made the decision, as I cry and type these words, I am releasing all of this pain and guilt and control I carry around over to him and am letting him have take control.

Psalm 18:1-6
1 I love you, O Lord, my strength. 2 The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. 3 I call to the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and I am saved from my enemies. 4 The cords of death entangle me; the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me. 5 The cords of the grave coiled around me; the snares of death confronted me. 6 In my distress I called to the Lord; I cried to my God for help.